I Thought Restriction Was the Answer—Here’s What Changed My Mind

For years, I thought the only way to control my eating was through restriction—strict rules, off-limits foods, and an endless cycle of guilt. But instead of giving me freedom, it left me feeling more out of control than ever. Breaking free from that mindset hasn’t been easy, but it’s been life-changing. In this post, I’m sharing the lessons I’ve learned along the way—why restriction isn’t the answer and what’s helped me build a healthier, more balanced relationship with food.

I’m so happy that you guys are back to read another post! This has been a really hard time allowing myself to tell my story, and the fact that you’re back to read this makes me feel less alone. And that’s my goal for you: to not feel alone. I wanted to begin by sharing the lessons I’ve learned through restriction.

The first thought people have when they want to lose weight is to restrict. People automatically think restricting is the solution. That’s not completely wrong, but so many things go into it. You hear so many diets that want you to cut out a certain food group, or stop eating sweets, or heck, to stop eating meat. Yes, all of those things can get you to where you want to be, but they’re not sustainable. Restricting leads to the wrong mindset. The mindset of “allowing” yourself to eat certain things. But, ultimately, if you think back to a time where you tried to restrict something completely, what did it lead to?

I know it seems easy, believe me. The food isn’t the problem; the problem is the mindset. You may have turned to restriction because it felt like you had control of the situation. You feel a sense of power being able to say “no” to that restriction, but what happens when you’re all alone and need comfort? You crave that one thing that you aren’t “allowed” to have.

Restrict-Binge Cycle

I have tried and failed at restricting multiple times. That’s what ultimately made me realize that I had a “problem.” I want to share my experiences and what I’ve learned throughout them with you. The worst part about all of this is that I always felt alone. I felt as if I was the only person having these issues. That’s why I’m here. I don’t want you to feel that aloneness. I’m going to share with you the restrict-binge cycle, why restriction doesn’t work, and what will actually help you.

Starting therapy a year ago has been the biggest game changer for me. It helped me understand the science behind my struggles, making sense of patterns I thought were just personal failures. One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is the restrict-binge cycle—how deprivation only fuels the urge to overeat, trapping me in a loop that felt impossible to escape. The restrict-binge cycle shows that restriction leads to cravings, which leads to loss of control, which leads to guilt and more restriction. It’s a constant cycle you’ll stay stuck in until you recognize it and make efforts to break free.

I still struggle with restriction to this day—maybe not as intensely, but it’s still something I have to work through. There are times when I catch myself restricting all day just because I know I’ll be having a higher-calorie dinner or “saving” my calories for dessert. But when I finally allow myself that dessert, it feels like permission to lose control. One bite turns into another, and before I know it, it’s not just about the cake anymore—it’s the start of a cycle I’ve been trying to break.

For those who have never experienced a binge after restriction, it’s hard to explain just how consuming it feels. It’s like there’s a void inside you, an emptiness you’re desperate to fill, and food feels like the only thing that can do it. The more you eat, the more you hope it will bring relief—but it never truly does. Instead, it leaves you feeling ashamed, out of control, and convinced that you are the problem. But you’re not the problem—I promise. This cycle isn’t a personal failure; it’s your body fighting back against deprivation. And the only way to truly break free isn’t through more control, but through learning to trust yourself with food again.

Why Restriction Doesn’t Work

The Psychological Toll

Labeling foods as “good” and “bad” and setting rigid restrictions creates a constant battle in your mind. Food becomes an obsession—you think about it constantly, feel like you never have enough, and experience intense cravings. I believed that the key to achieving the body I wanted was to restrict, avoid “bad” foods, track every calorie, and follow strict food rules. But instead of gaining control, I lost it. It consumed me. No matter what I ate, I felt guilty.

Food became the enemy rather than the fuel that keeps me alive, healthy, and active. I thought restriction would give me power, but it only left me feeling powerless. My days revolved around planning what I could eat, stressing over what I couldn’t, and punishing myself when I inevitably “messed up.”

The more you try to avoid certain foods, the more they consume your thoughts. You tell yourself you’ll allow dessert one day, but it lingers in your mind until you finally eat it. And when you do, you eat more than you intended—because who knows when you’ll “allow” yourself to have it again?

This cycle of restriction and overindulgence turns food into a battle. It stops being about hunger and becomes about control, guilt, and fear.

Food should be both enjoyable and nourishing. It shouldn’t feel like a test of willpower. Instead of listening to your body, you end up following rigid, self-imposed rules—rules that aren’t sustainable or healthy. The anxiety around eating makes it hard to enjoy meals with friends or try new foods without stress. Even now, I struggle with going out to eat, fearing that I’ll overeat or feeling like I have to choose the lowest-calorie option.

At its core, restriction often stems from the pursuit of “perfection.” But true balance comes when you let go of that impossible standard. I learned that eating dessert or fries didn’t make me undisciplined—it simply meant I wanted to enjoy them, and that’s completely okay. Food isn’t something to fear; it’s something to embrace, without guilt or shame.

The Physical Toll

Restriction doesn’t just take a mental toll—it affects you physically, too. When I restricted, I thought eating less would help me, but instead, it left me exhausted. My workouts suffered because I was too weak to perform. I needed food to fuel me, yet I was depriving myself of it. I felt drained, irritable, and completely depleted.

But it didn’t just affect me—it affected the people around me. My mood swings worsened, and I was never happy or satisfied. I barely had the energy to invest in my relationships. It broke me. The hardest part? I didn’t realize restriction was the problem until I looked back. I was miserable, but I thought it was just me—not the way I was treating my body.

You might think that the more you restrict, the less you’ll crave—but the opposite is true. Your body knows when it’s not getting enough food, and it will amplify hunger signals to compensate. That’s why restriction often leads to bingeing—because once your body finally gets the fuel it’s been deprived of, it doesn’t want to stop.

Breaking Free: What Actually Helps

For so long, I believed that the only way to be healthy was through control—strict rules, avoiding “bad” foods, and constantly trying to eat “perfectly.” But that mindset didn’t lead to health. It led to exhaustion, guilt, and an endless cycle of restriction and bingeing. Breaking free wasn’t about finding more discipline—it was about changing the way I thought about food altogether.

Shifting your mindset

The biggest challenge most likely wasn’t in what you ate, but how you thought about food. You need to view food as not something to control but something that nourishes you and your body. If you focus on how food makes you feel—physically and emotionally—you will learn to view it differently. The more I was able to shift my mindset away from restriction and toward balance, the less food has controlled my life.

I started asking myself these questions:

Instead of “Should I eat this?“, I asked, “Do I actually want this?“
Instead of “Is this healthy enough?“, I asked, “Will this satisfy and fuel me?”

For so long, that mindset ignored my hunger cues, seeing them as something to fight against. Learning to listen to my body meant eating before I was starving and stopping before I was stuffed.

Some things that helped me reconnect with my body’s signals:

Eating meals on a regular schedule so I wasn’t constantly ravenous.
Checking in with myself before, during, and after eating.
Noticing how different foods made me feel—what gave me energy, what satisfied me, and what left me still wanting more.

Finding balance with food

Balance is about feeling good—physically, mentally, and emotionally. Some things that help to find balance:

Eating mostly nourishing, satisfying meals while also leaving space for fun foods.
Not skipping meals, even if you had eaten something “less healthy,” earlier.
Planning meals and snacks that keep you full so you won’t constantly crave more.

Instead of focusing on what you can’t have, focus on what fun foods you can add to your meals—protein, fiber, healthy fats, foods that make you feel good. That’s when everything will shift. Don’t punish your body by making food the enemy; take care of it, nourish it, appreciate it. You deserve to feel at peace.

The Bottom Line

Breaking free from restriction wasn’t about more control—it was about trust. Trusting my body, trusting that I didn’t need rules to eat well, and trusting that I could enjoy food without guilt.

If you’re stuck in the cycle of restriction, just know—there’s a way out. Food doesn’t have to be stressful. You deserve to eat in a way that feels good, satisfies you, and brings you peace. And once you let go of the rules, you might be surprised at how freeing life can be.

Thank you for spending time with me. I’m so happy you’re here!

love, mace <3